Sometimes we may hear
someone say something very rude or even something negative about life, and we
think to ourselves, "Wow! That person is so negative!" However, when
we respond to and email or text of someone, say, asking for permission to do
something and we respond by saying "No. I'm sorry", we would never
think of ourselves as being negative. While we may not be negative by
responding that way, our tone is negative. This kind of response isn't
even rude; it's more or less a natural response. To have a positive tone
one might respond by thanking that person for asking permission and encouraging
him or her to continue asking for permission in the future.
This idea had never
really occurred to me. However, when I think of myself being the one to
ask permission, I would much rather have a positive response to my request.
A positive response lets me know that I did the right thing by asking
permission, and the person I asked isn't annoyed by me requesting permission.
Here a humorous way to give bad news in a good way. Enjoy:)
That definitely makes sense. It seems like most people are hesitant to ask for help. If someone does ask me for help, and I legitimately must turn them down, it seems like it's unlikely they'll ask for help again in the future without a lot of encouragement and reassurance on my part.
ReplyDeleteI feel like this is another detail of communication that tends to go unnoticed. Unfortunately in business, and in life for that matter, bad news is going to go around. What matters is that you are respectful in delivering that news. One thing I learned at a Leadership Camp I went to was the "Oreo Method" of breaking bad news. Sandwich the bad news in between two positive aspects so that you are able to keep a positive relationship with the person you are talking with.
ReplyDeleteEspecially with communication being increasingly non-verbal and over text or e-mail, tone can be hard to convey and we can so easily be misunderstood. Your example is spot on. What may have been meant as a nonchalant response to decline due to a scheduling conflict may come across as short or intentionally rude when it wasn't intended to be read that way.
ReplyDeleteIn this class, we have stated that the more concise the better, but you have brought but the point that we must consider how short is too short.